My Mom’s Funeral: Exactly the Way She Wanted It!

"It was so beautiful and so moving", everyone said to me on their way out of the cemetery. And, I thought "exactly the way she wanted it". It was my mother's funeral service.

My mother had asked for white lilies on her coffin. She wanted a fine cherry wood coffin and that it remained closed all times during the service. She asked that her memorial ceremony be practiced by her spiritual counselor of all times and to be buried next to where Dad was buried eight years earlier. She wanted to be closed to him, she stated in her "Final Arrangements". This was a part of one of the several documents that she had handled to me two years ago.

My mom's "Final Arrangements" consisted only of a few paragraphs. She had it prepared a little over eight years ago, right after my dad's passing. When we suddenly lost dad from an unforeseeable massive heart attack, we did not have one of these documents and mom was forced to make dozens of unexpected and sensitive decisions in a time when she could hardly even think straight. After all, they were married over forty years. Mom made sure that we didn't have to go through this. She always looked for our very best. This was only another example of her deep love for us.

Mom's "Final Arrangements" provided an answer for every aspect related to her final departure. In the document, she had expressed the kind of memorial service that she wanted and everything related to it. She stated where the service was going to be held; that she did not want to be cremated, but to be buried instead, and the exact location of her burial. She specified how her last wishes were to be financed and she made sure that her desires had legal force by including these final arrangements as part of her Advance Health Care Directive, another of the legal documents that had handled me together with her Last Will. Mom had thought about everything. The fact that she took her time to prepare these documents made these hard times so much easier for us.

At the end of the day, it was very comforting to me and my siblings to know that we have been able to please mom until the very end. That night I went to bed feeling a tremendous sorrow in my heart. I felt like if I have lost a part of me. I was only able to find peace in my mind and finally be able to fall asleep when the thought came up to me that I could do the same for my children. That I would have my estate planning documents drafted the next day, including my "Final Arrangements". The realization of how important this can be for my loved ones, was part of mother's Legacy.